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British commanding officer killed in Afghanistan
One of the two latest fatalities in Afghanistan is the highest ranking Army officer to be killed since the Falklands War, it has emerged.
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US launches major Afghan offensive
US Marines have launched a major offensive against the Taliban in Afghanistan.
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Jackson's ex-wife to fight for custody of kids
Michael Jackson's ex-wife says she will fight for custody of their two children as plans for the star's memorial service are finalised.
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Swine flu cases 'may top 100,000 a day'
The number of swine flu cases in the UK could reach more than 100,000 per day by the end of next month.
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Crashed Air France plane 'hit water intact'
An Air France plane that crashed into the Atlantic off Brazil hit the water intact and at high speed, French investigators have said.
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Dramatic river rescue video released
An American woman has had a dramatic escape after becoming stranded in a fast-flowing river in Iowa.
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Police dog handler 'could face prosecution'
A police officer could be prosecuted after two German Shepherd dogs died when they were left in a private vehicle in hot weather.
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Judge overturns MySpace bullying conviction
A US judge has moved to overturn the conviction of a Missouri woman accusedof bullying a teenager who later committed suicide.
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Another on-target ripped headline. Just why DID the PM go missing??
Gormless, Spineless Gordon Goes Missing at Windsor Castle Piss Up!
Headline Image:
http://www.teamusk.com/images/camel-headlines-gormless-back-benched.gif
Headline Text:
In television footage, the Queen can be heard saying to Princess Anne: "The prime minister got lost. He disappeared the wrong way...(up his own arse?) at the crucial moment."
Conservative leader David Cameron and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg were also at the banquet in St George's Hall at Windsor Castle. The prime minister and French President were among 150 guests binging out on a four course meal washed down with vintage wine and champagne. The wine list included a Chateau Margaux, Premier Grand Cru Classe, 1961 and a 1982 Krug champagne.
There's been no comment (yet) from "Health Britain" (an exclusive pressure group determined to destroy any joy left in living) regarding the damage to the livers and possible alcoholic tendencies of the three "great" leaders of the main political parties.
Who Stole MY Spine?
Spineless, gormless and pissed is this really a sober Britain?
I "stumbled on" some unusual news headlines just now and thought one of the headlines to be very apt:
Raining Fat Cats, Dogs and Politicians
Tea Musk Time's ripped headline for today:

Headline Text:
THE GREAT BIG BRITISH FAT CATS AND GREEDY SCANDAL
For once, it seems individuals in parliament cannot be blamed for the way British pet owners overfeed their animals to busting point. "Pet obesity in the UK, you could say, is at epidemic proportions. Nearly 50% of dogs and cats in this country are overweight, and 15% of these are clinically obese." Andrew Wilson, Orchard Veterinary Centre.
The Pet Health Council recommends the following action:
1. check the ideal weight for your pet with your vet;
2. take action if your pet is heavier than its ideal weight by 15%.
3. check for a sagging stomach and bulging sides;
4. if you can't feel your pet's ribs, this may be a sign that they're overweight;
5. breathlessness and reluctance to take exercise are good indicators of an overweight pet.
OBESITY IN HOUSES
OF PARLIEMENT?
Heavyweight politicians, many of whom may have visited the "trough" of their free meal allowances a little to often, have refused to take the new "FAT PET" test. The general feeling among MPs is that; "A few tasty treats never did anyone any harm"!
"Throw me a BONE sometime", seems to be the reply from the Great British Public.
Gormless Gordon says;
"I eats, I drinks, I gets fat
and I falls over; I'm awright
JACK".
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Over feeding pets is very common and this headline makes the point by using a bit of humour.