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Heads roll at council over Baby P scandal
Sharon Shoesmith, the director of children's services at Haringey Council, has been removed from her post over the Baby P scandal.
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'Mumbai militants trained in Pakistan'
Tension is growing in the Indian sub-continent amid reports that the Mumbai militants had months of commando training in Pakistan.
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Clinton gets top Obama post
Barack Obama has named former rival Hillary Clinton as his Secretary of State.
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Britney sets the record straight
Britney Spears has returned to America ahead of the UK screening of a documentary about her life.
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Cartoon lover wins Turner prize
Mark Leckey has won the Turner Prize with an exhibition featuring cartoon characters like Homer Simpson.
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Two charged after football death
Two men have been charged following the death of a man after a Sunday league football match.
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Police shoot man on cathedral steps
The family of a man shot dead by police on the steps of a cathedral have spoken of their shock.
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Car thief mows down pensioner
A brave pensioner has died after trying to stop a thief stealing his car.
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Another on-target ripped headline. Just why DID the PM go missing??
Gormless, Spineless Gordon Goes Missing at Windsor Castle Piss Up!
Headline Image:
http://www.teamusk.com/images/camel-headlines-gormless-back-benched.gif
Headline Text:
In television footage, the Queen can be heard saying to Princess Anne: "The prime minister got lost. He disappeared the wrong way...(up his own arse?) at the crucial moment."
Conservative leader David Cameron and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg were also at the banquet in St George's Hall at Windsor Castle. The prime minister and French President were among 150 guests binging out on a four course meal washed down with vintage wine and champagne. The wine list included a Chateau Margaux, Premier Grand Cru Classe, 1961 and a 1982 Krug champagne.
There's been no comment (yet) from "Health Britain" (an exclusive pressure group determined to destroy any joy left in living) regarding the damage to the livers and possible alcoholic tendencies of the three "great" leaders of the main political parties.
Who Stole MY Spine?
Spineless, gormless and pissed is this really a sober Britain?
I "stumbled on" some unusual news headlines just now and thought one of the headlines to be very apt:
Raining Fat Cats, Dogs and Politicians
Tea Musk Time's ripped headline for today:

Headline Text:
THE GREAT BIG BRITISH FAT CATS AND GREEDY SCANDAL
For once, it seems individuals in parliament cannot be blamed for the way British pet owners overfeed their animals to busting point. "Pet obesity in the UK, you could say, is at epidemic proportions. Nearly 50% of dogs and cats in this country are overweight, and 15% of these are clinically obese." Andrew Wilson, Orchard Veterinary Centre.
The Pet Health Council recommends the following action:
1. check the ideal weight for your pet with your vet;
2. take action if your pet is heavier than its ideal weight by 15%.
3. check for a sagging stomach and bulging sides;
4. if you can't feel your pet's ribs, this may be a sign that they're overweight;
5. breathlessness and reluctance to take exercise are good indicators of an overweight pet.
OBESITY IN HOUSES
OF PARLIEMENT?
Heavyweight politicians, many of whom may have visited the "trough" of their free meal allowances a little to often, have refused to take the new "FAT PET" test. The general feeling among MPs is that; "A few tasty treats never did anyone any harm"!
"Throw me a BONE sometime", seems to be the reply from the Great British Public.
Gormless Gordon says;
"I eats, I drinks, I gets fat
and I falls over; I'm awright
JACK".
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Over feeding pets is very common and this headline makes the point by using a bit of humour.